Friday, June 24, 2011

Casual Fridays


My first week has been rather hectic. I'll do my best not to bore you with everyday details and try to focus on a broad reflection on life in the world of employment. Right from the get go, I was thrown into the deep end by my otherwise benevolent bosses. Between conference calls on topics I had never heard of and reports on projects I had never been introduced to, I felt like I was drowning. Faced with problems my otherwise rigorous college education had failed to even moderately prepare me for, I retreated into what I did know; social media. As many young interns quickly discover, the member of the office with the most recent birth is almost always the most up to date with the fast moving world of information technology. Finally there was something that I could do better than my colleagues and I quickly embraced it.


Asserting myself as something of a Google Documents guru, at least in the eyes of my coworkers, I began setting up a network to bring my office into the world of 2011. A robust Google Documents network, a well-managed Doodle account, and a colorful office Picasa later and I had safely steered myself away from any actual work my employment was supposed to entail. Suddenly, what my coworkers had thought of as cowardice to confront any issues--and in their defense, it was--was improving office efficiency and encouraging unprecedented levels of communication. I had found my niche and was thriving; traditional paper-pushing be damned. Throughout the week, I set up accounts and created tutorials for the more senior members of our work force and as I went along my merry, tech oriented way, I began to understand the other office projects.


What had started as a retreat from the unknown had become my gateway to it. As countless position papers came through my Google account, I slowly began to understand them. Where before I had balked at large spread sheets of budget details and long lists of antiquated acronyms, I began to embrace them as my own. Before long, through my network, I was so deeply integrated into the office framework that senior officials were coming to me for advice, not on how to create accounts or utilize internet applications, but on ideas for papers and proposals. After an extended adjustment period, I suddenly felt at home. While a week is perhaps too soon to declare victory, I now feel confident in my ability to work in the world. Whether other employers will feel the same when I graduate in a quasi-recession afflicted economy remains to be seen.

Thursday, April 7, 2011

In honor of the holiday season and a coming year jam-packed with unprotected escapades, I've composed a list of the trendiest STD's of 2010.

Trendiest STD's of 2010

5) Granuloma Inguinale

A surprise pick out of Southeastern Asia, Granuloma carries an air of mystery unmatched by anything covered in high school health classes. Its popularity among young twenty-somethings may stem from the fact that it is not well known and hasn't yet sold out to large drug manufacturers--if someone gets this sucker, it's there for life.

4) Aids

Last year's top performer, AIDS has taken a drop thanks to a recent position reversal by the Pope. It was all well and fun when the worst outbreaks were confined to Africa and Eastern Europe -it made cases in the U.S. seem more exotic- but anything that can make the Vatican reverse the word of God is cause for alarm.

3) Herpes

A perennial contender, herpes remains as fun to spread as it ever was. A favorite among college populations, the fact that it can't be cured simply adds to the disease's mystique.

2) Syphilis

This year's throwback selection, Syphilis has been in the public conscious (and loins) for centuries. Though falling out of favor in the western world in recent decades, it has made a raging comeback thanks to a rumor that tween star Justin Beiber may be suffering under its bacterial burden.

1) Gonorrhea

As easy to spread as it is to say, the clap packs a hell of a punch. With recent a appearances on Veronica Mars coinciding perfectly with the incubation period for 2010 outbreaks, this disease kids are now calling "The Drip" easily clinches the top spot.